Let’s embrace and celebrate the lessons that shape us
When I was in the Finance Industry the 30th June was a fierce deadline. May and June were manic months and everyone around me was feeling the weight of the deadline.
But now I don’t have that same pressure. Now the 30th June is simply an opportunity to reflect, and celebrate the day I met my husband on 30th June 23 years ago. (Best 30th June ever!)
I’m a big believer in embracing the lessons that shape us and the direction we want to go, so last night I shared what I had learnt so far via Facebook Live. I love sharing my journey so others get to see they’re not so alone, and they’re doing OK.
You can make a cuppa and dive into the video, or read the outline of my biggest lessons below.
So let’s dive in to my 10 top lessons for 2018 so far!
The most important story of all is the one we tell ourselves.
We all have a narrative, many actually, that run on repeat as we go through our day. Some we’re aware of, some we’re not, but trust me they are there.Pay attention to the stories you are living by. Are they stories that support your growth, or ones that are keeping you stuck?I’ve spent many years uncovering my stories, editing or re-writing them, and new ones are still popping up. Start to pay attention to them and you might be surprised by what you find.
The voice of doubt is not reality.
I have a word for this pesky voice, Mindshit! They are the stories that keep you playing small. The ones that allow you to hesitate and doubt the ideas you have. What they say isn’t usually true so learn to look at things with a fresh perspective.
Action wins over distraction every time.
Overwhelm stems from hesitation and inaction. When you hesitate or fall for all the distractions (the easy stuff) the harder things will seem. But when you move on an idea quickly, and trust that the next steps will show themselves you’ll achieve what you want much sooner.
Asking for help can be hard but necessary if you want to succeed.
I know it’s hard to ask for help, I used to suck at it. Always happy to help everyone else but never felt comfortable asking for help myself. But suffering in silence allows the Mindshit to gather strength and take hold, and it does not support your growth.Asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness so be OK with reaching out when you need support.
The difference between groups, courses and 1:1 support.
OK so you know you need help, but what type of support should you seek? There are plenty of options but after trying many types of support it comes down to your particular needs at the time.Facebook groups are great when it’s a safe community of like-minded people. These are perfect for overall support and cheerleading. Group programs are also a great way to go a little deeper with the level of support you need.
Courses are great if you’re ready to implement. Some offer support, some are simply DIY, but they all require you to do the work. How many courses have you purchased in the hope that it’s the next magic pill only to have it sit and collect virtual dust unfinished?
When you find it hard to do the scary stuff and see your blindspots, 1:1 support can be powerful. Having someone focus on you and your needs allows you to come out of hiding and see how capable you truly are.
You must face your fears.
Ignoring or avoiding what scares you wins in the short term, but it’s not going to get you where you want to go. The longer you avoid them the stronger they become.Facing those fears will help you see that the story you had created around the thing you didn’t feel ready to do is not so true. (See point 2.)
Hiding out doesn’t serve anyone.
As in point 6, hiding out is a short term solution. Feels better to play small, but if you’re not sharing who you are and what you do how are people meant to find you?This doesn’t mean you have to become the next Instagram sensation, but it does mean you have to be OK with showing up and sharing what you have to say.
Denial is not a strategy.
If something is not working in your business, or life, address it. Acknowledging it is a problem or gap in your knowledge base if the first step in correcting it.
We all have a blindspot.
The fact that you can’t see it is my whole point. Getting fresh eyes on your situation, story or opportunity will allow you to see what you can’t always see for yourself. If you’re frustrated or can’t see why something’s not working reach out and ask for help. It could be a quick 5 minute conversation that will solve something that’s been rattling around inside you for weeks.
No one has all their shit together!
It’s easy to think that everyone has everything figured out but you. In my experience that’s false. No one truly has all their shit together, and nor should they.We all have opportunities for growth, but that doesn’t lesson the value of the things we’re good. There are plenty of things I’m great at, and plenty I’m not. I know now that I can get support from others for the things I haven’t figured out yet, and people can come to me for help with things they haven’t figured out yet.This is perfect! If everyone had all their shit together most of us would be out of a job 😉
Bonus lesson: You must reset regularly.
This one is super important so listen up! You cannot keep doing what you’re doing without resting, recharging and re-calibrating. No matter how much is still left to do, it’s OK to walk away and take a break. Get your butt outside regularly and soak up the silence. This is what will reduce your stress and overwhelm and let all your ideas settle into where they need to be.
Burnout is not a pretty place to be, and the more you try and push through, the less creative and productive you’ll be.
So now what?
I know I’ve covered a lot but I’d love you to check in and see what resonates with you. Are there lessons here that you can take on to start to shift the way you’re showing up each day?
If you’d like to chat about any of this, or see how I may be able to support you, I’d love to chat. You can book a free call with me here. If you can’t find a time that suits, simply get in touch and we’ll work something out.